SOMETIMES YA JUST GOTTA LAUGH!
(...otherwise this Internet marketing stuff'll drive ya NUTS!)

Y'know what I do whenever I need a little chuckle in my life, fellow Big Dogs?

I OPEN MY EMAIL BOX!

Now, understand, that there are a lot of POSITIVE aspects of monitoring your email box from time to time:

• It allows you to keep abreast of what's goin' on in the field of Internet marketing.  You can "keep your fingers on the pulse" of the industry.

• You'll be made aware of the newest programs, products, and services.

• You'll get an unlimited supply of ideas for ads of your own.

• You'll be able to pick out the mistakes and errors other marketers make, so YOU don't make the same ones.

But there are also SURE to be dozens of ads in there that are guaranteed to make me laugh!

Honestly, my friends, some of these ads and accompanying websites are SO ridiculously over-hyped they're actually laughable.  I often wonder how ANYbody could be naive enough to fall for some of this insanity!

Lemme give you just one example of what I'm talkin' about.  Maybe I can get YOU to chuckle, too...

A little over a month ago I received a promotional email from a well-known marketer.  Now this guy is the owner of some big-time programs, and he has been around for years.  He has an established Internet reputation for honesty and integrity.

And YET!...

...and yet I found his latest sales letter to be appalling!  In fact, it embarrassed me as an Internet marketer!

It started out routinely enough, with the standard "appeal to the masses"...

"If you're struggling to make money online, and want to start making money by tomorrow - then I highly recommend that you check this product out now."

Nothing extraordinary so far, right?  We've all gone through that stage of "struggling to make money online."  I didn't really like that phrase , "make money by tomorrow," but, STILL, the ad is pretty innocuous so far.

Well, that's what I thought at first. But let's continue...

"This is one of the most inspiring stories I've ever come across."

"The kid was literally dead broke, homeless, and living off canned goods for months... all because he blew all of his money on stupid paid methods of advertising."

NOW this guy is starting to LOSE me!

"HOMELESS???"

My first thought was, "if this 'kid' was homeless, how was he able to access the Internet?"  (That's 'explained' on the website - naturally <chuckle> -  but we'll get to that later.)

"STUPID PAID METHODS???"

Already I KNOW where this is goin'.  The latest, greatest 'FREE advertising that will make you a fortune' garbage.

"Then, he stumbled onto a method so powerful, that he made over $71,805 in just 7 days, without spending a single penny on traffic."

"Best part?"

"He semi-retired for a couple of months, worked less than 4 hours a week... and you wouldn't believe what happened next... (It will shock you to your very core)"

"Seventy grand in less than a week!  Didn't spend a penny on traffic!  SEMI-Retired and working four hours a week!"

Hoo, boy!  That sounds like MY kinda job!

So, naturally I clicked the link in the email.  I already KNEW what to expect, but like I said, I was in the mood for a laugh..

Now, before I continue, fellow Big Dogs, let me make it perfectly clear that I have nothing against a LITTLE hype - a little, good old-fashioned "showmanship."  You HAVE to build up a product in order to market it effectively, whether you're selling digital products, cars, or baskets of tomatoes.  THAT'S just good salesmanship.  But, fer g'ness sakes, let's be a LITTLE realistic and honest!

Anyway...

...I get to the website, and the first thing I'm slammed with is that almost "standard headline"

"YOU FINALLY FOUND IT!"
"You're About to Discover How a Homeless Kid Stumbled On the Most Powerful Method EVER Created...And Banked Over $761,805 in Just 7 Days...100% FREE!"

I 'm STILL curious about the "homeless thing," but since I'm going to be rich in a few minutes, I'm willing to be patient.  And it looks like I HAFTA be patient, because the first thing I'm confronted with is the typical sales video.

Now I UNDERSTAND that on-site video is the "big thing" right now.  Personally, though, I hate 'em!  I'm perfectly capable of READING the highpoints of a website MYSELF and deciding if I'm interested.  I don't HAVE to sit through a boring ten minute video, that I CAN'T turn off, or even pause to go to the bathroom!

But my patience pays off!  After I agonize through the video, I find out about that "homeless thing."  Apparently, this "kid" was homeless (because he spent all his money on "stupid paid advertising"), but some close friends allowed him to sleep on their couch and use THEIR Internet connection!  (WHEW, I'm glad THAT'S cleared up.  Nice friends, huh?

And it gets better!  I find out that...

• You can get started in 20 minutes!

• You can begin making money by tomorrow!

• You don't need a website!

• You don't need a product!

• You don't need a list!

• You don't need previous experience!

• You don't need technical skills of any kind!

• You don't need to spend a penny on traffic!

My god, what DO I need!?  A PULSE!?

So he locked himself in his room for 14 hours a day, 7 days a week for months until... until he "stumbled upon" his secret method.  ( a "secret method" that, apparently, no one else in the history of the Internet figured out!!!)

Then came the endless stream of "proof" of all this easy-income.  Bank statements, PayPal statements, ClickBank statements, Payza statements, etc, etc.  (Tell me, does ANYBODY take these "statements" seriously?)

In fact, he made $18,912 his first MONTH after he started using his "secret" method.  Not to be outdone, his SECOND month he made $54,878!

Not too shabby for a "homeless kid" who was sleeping on his friend's couch and (in his words) "living on canned beans."

At THIS point, what would YOU do, if YOU were "the kid?"  If you had just finished being "homeless and living on canned beans," WHAT WOULD BE YOUR NEXT STEP?  What would be MY next step?  What would any SANE, rational person do next?

Well, I would work even HARDER, and put in even LONGER hours.  Once I had found the "secret" I would capitalize on it as much as possible, as quickly as possible!  Wouldn't YOU!?

Not the kid!

HE decided to "put the method to the ultimate test," so he "semi-retired and traveled the world for six months!"  (I imagine he also bought a mansion on the beach and a brand-new Ferrari!)

But the method worked!

By the end of the year he had made $148,653!  

Now, fellow Big Dogs, I don't know about YOU, but I gotta get my mitts on this method;  I'm tired of WORKIN' for a living!

So how much does it cost?

Well, before I tell you, let me explain how real-world businesses are valued;  how much the owner of a profitable business would normally ask for a genuine business.  The standard rule-of-thumb is that an ongoing business has a value equal to 2 1/2 to 5 times it's most recent net annual income.

So, assuming the "kid" actually made $148,653 in one year, his business would be worth...

$371,632 to $743,265
(2 1/2 to 5 times net annual income)!

But the "kid" is willing to give YOU his "can't-fail method" (you can see where I'm going with this already, can't you - <chuckle>) for a mere...

$37

Thirty-seven bucks!!!  I don't know about you, but if I had a "no-fail" system for making $148,653 a year, I sure as blazes ain't gonna give it to YOU for... thirty-seven bucks.  I wouldn't sell it to you for thirty-seven THOUSAND dollars - not when it's worth at least three hundred seventy three thousand dollars.  In fact - practical businessman that I am - I wouldn't even TELL you about it;  I'd keep it for myself

Wouldn't you?

...unless it didn't really work.

And its better STILL!  (How can it get better, you ask yourself?)

Well, if you are "stupid" enough to click the website closed, you are immediately hit with one of those "last chance" offers."  The "kid" is willing to knock ten bucks off the price and give it to you for...

$27

But you better hurry!  The "kid" is only going to sell 250 copies of this amazing plan.  (By-the-way, will somebody puh-leeze tell me how you can "run out" of a digital product?)

Incidentally, a month ago, when I initially looked at this site there were only 3 packages left (or so I was told), and "the kid" was nice enough to inform me that I had better act on this offer or it would be "gone for good."  When I reviewed it today in preparing this article - guess what - there were STILL "3 packages left."  (Hmmmmm)

Anyway, gang, I guess what I'm asking is... "Does anybody really fall for ridiculous 'opportunities' like this?  Is ANYBODY that stupid, that naive, or that desperate that they will send this totally unknown 'kid' twenty-seven bucks and actually hope to get ANYTHING out of it?"

Apparently, SOMEBODY must, because I see more and more of these ads and websites all the time.  But if that's YOU, contact me...

          ...I have a bridge in Brooklyn that I'd like to get rid of!