"The TEAM!
NONE of us is as strong as ALL of us!"

And Now for a Little Humor
–or-
"How YOU Can Make
Stan’s Wife Happy"

Well, folks, it’s time for yet another of Stan’s long, dull, boring, pointless stories…..

My dearly-beloved wife, Jan, happens to have been a registered nurse for the last 25 years. She is also in charge of the Intensive Care/Coronary Care Unit of a local hospital. Ever watch the TV show "ER?" That’s the stuff that Jan does all day long. Very hard work and VERY stressful. Now when she comes home from work, like most married couples, we talk about our days. She tells me about all the accident victims whose lives she saved, and I tell her about a website being down for two hours.

Somehow she doesn’t see my life as very stressful.

Even though she knows I’m at the computer twelve hours a day seven days a week, she’ll say stuff like, "You call what you do WORK!? All you do is "play" all day!  About the most stressful thing that happens to you is your index finger gets a cramp!"

(Sound familiar, folks?)

Anyway, I’ve decided that Jan IS right. I need MORE stress and frustration in my life. So I’ve outlined a few tips below that you can do to increase my workload and stress levels. Happily, a lot of you are ALREADY doing these things, and for that I thank you on Jan’s behalf. But, if we really wanna make this work – if we really wanna make the ol’ Stan-Meister curl up into a little ball of frustration, we must all work as a unified TEAM to do it RIGHT!

Let’s all make Jan happy…

The Top Ten List of Things to Do to Make Stan Pull His Hair Out

When emailing me a question, do not use ANY capital letters. In addition, eliminate all forms of punctuation – periods, commas, question marks. Finally, absolutely NEVER use your "spell-checker," and never proofread your email for errors before you send it. Combining all these "pointers" will guarantee that I have to hire an interpreter to determine what you’re trying to say.

When requesting your sponsor’s signup module, NEVER put "I’m Ready to Run with the Big Dogs" in the subject line, as specifically instructed in the ebook. In fact, leave the subject line blank. This insures that I will think that it’s just another piece of spam and delete it. Of course, this will then give you the perfect excuse to send me a nasty email the next day screamin’ about why you haven’t gotten the Module.

Also when requesting your sponsor’s signup module, DON’T put your name in it. And…rather than emailing me from your main email address, email me from one that we have no record of in our database. This makes it impossible for us to determine who your sponsor is. A guaranteed stress builder!

Have a question about something in one of the CHIP programs? Whatever you do, DON’T take five minutes to read the next paragraph down, where the answer is. Instead take the next hour to compose an 87page email to me outlining in excruciating detail what you are trying to say.

Always send me information in the form of email attachments. I have absolutely no fear of computer viruses, and of course, everyone on the Internet is a perfect lady or gentleman and wouldn’t DREAM of sending me a virus anyway.  (And we ALL know that anti-virus software ALWAYS works!)

When emailing me, NEVER include your first and last name, ClickBank nickname, and MAIN email address so I can easily and simply identify you. Use one of your 33 junk email addresses, eliminate your nickname, and just use your first name. For example, just "Joe" is MORE than adequate for me to know exactly who you are.  Since we only have 1,247 "Joe’s" who are Big Dogs, and we only receive 800 to 1,000 business-related emails each day, I am SURE to remember what you and I discussed three weeks ago.

It’s an established fact that I am the Internet’s newest "guru, and that I would make a great addition to your downline in that brand new offshore "gifting" program you’re also involved in. Also, I have far too much time on my hands and I’m not making nearly enough money with the Big Dogs program, so feel free to email me details of the two dozen or so other programs you’re involved in, ESPECIALLY the ones that guarantee me $90,242 in 30 days with zero investment!  I am especially interested in the ones that start out, "According to Section 22B-II of the United States Postal Code, this IS a legal opportunity."

It takes us a mere five minutes to customize your Signup Module when you submit your CHIP URL’s properly. That makes it far too easy, so here is a list of pointers when submitting your reseller URL’s for the CHIP:

1. Ignore our directions to wait and submit ALL your URL’s at one time. Instead, trickle them in one at a time over several days. Since we get "only" 10 to 20 MORE Alpha Dogs each day, this guarantees that we’ll have a couple dozen "open" files at any one time. A SURE stress builder!
2. When trickling in your URL’s, each time use a different email address. It also goes without saying that you should also never put your name in the email. This way, it makes it almost impossible to connect each email with your file.
3. Verify your URL’s before you send them in!? Heck, that’s for sissies! And if you’re not sure of a few, why, just GUESS at ‘em. Unfortunately, I have a deal worked out with David Copperfield (the magician) – he won’t do any Internet marketing as long as I don’t read minds.

Short on cash and STILL wanna make it big time on the Internet?  No problem!  rather than joining all 15 CHIP programs, just join ONE.  AdMinder is probably best, since it is not included in the CHIP program to generate leads.  Wait three hours and then email me telling me how the Big Dogs program doesn't work even though you've "done everything that you were supposed to do."

Again, fellow dogs, I want to thank you in advance on Jan's behalf for adhering to the above guidelines as strictly as possible.

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